superblys:

#if she doesn’t win an oscar for this I swear to god

est-offensa-et-mirari:

deppsydoodle:

deppsydoodle:

why is peter pan always flying?

he neverlands

I love this joke because it never grows old

r u barium silicon carbon bismuth technetium and hydrogen cuz u a

bloodbending:

demoncolbert:

OH MY GOD

i went into the bank and asked what day it was and the teller said “march 26th” so i asked “and the year?” and she kinda looked at me for a second before saying “2012”. i threw my hands up in the air and yelled “IT WORKED” before turning to leave.

THEN AS I WAS JOGGING OUT OF THE BANK SOME OTHER DUDE CAME UP TO ME LIKE “HOLY CRAP, YOUR MACHINE WORKED TOO?” AND WE HIGH FIVED AND RAN OFF.

WHAT IF HE WAS ACTUALLY A TIME TRAVELER

Who will be strong and stand with me?

inthepursuitofyourdreams:

this moment. :’)

• English teacher: Never kill off your main character, it shows poor writing skills
• Shakespeare: Excuse you
• John Green: Excuse you
• The BBC: Excuse you
• Chris Colfer: Excuse you.